Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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