She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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