You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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