Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Congratulations! We have a period
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize