I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
