You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
3 2 1 whiskey
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
