she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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