I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
