tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
