he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
