So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
