She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
