how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
