if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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