if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
