There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
