pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
