I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
worst night to have a conscience
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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