this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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