I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
