hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
