Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
