Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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