Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
