remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
