i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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