well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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