Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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