At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize