It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
