got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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