he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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