I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
