I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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