i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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