Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
