he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
