Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
