I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
