By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
