mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
