Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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