I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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