Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well I just put wine in my tea
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
