Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
