dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
50% drunk capacity currently
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
