my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize