Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
