Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
