If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize