never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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