i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
