I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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