his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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