Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
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