Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize