so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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