Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
did i just pee glitter
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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