we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
