wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
