Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
